Letting Go

So today is one of those days.  One of those days where I get to give up being a parent – temporarily.  Don’t get me wrong, in some ways it’s a godsend, a termination of responsibilities for a period…or for lack of a better word, a break.  I know a lot of parents don’t get these breaks/respites and personally, I’m not really a fan, but…this is what happens when you are divorced…and you have children.

I don’t like putting my children on a plane, I don’t like waving goodbye, I don’t like letting them go.  A mother shouldn’t have to be away from her children, she shouldn’t have to be without her children, at least until her children are “able” to be without her, when they’re independent and ready to be without her.

I enjoy my time with my significant other, I enjoy being an adult sans kids, but that wasn’t the role I signed up for. I wanted them, I wanted to be a mom and I wanted to be and go places with them.  This wasn’t the version of the life I chose.  But it’s the hand I’ve been dealt, this is the one I must endure. I just hope they know how difficult it is for me to let go and that it’s tough and I so hope for them that history doesn’t repeat itself and they don’t have to experience the sacrifice that I must every time…I wave goodbye.

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