The Acceptance Game

According to Merriam-Webster, acceptance is defined as:
the act of accepting something or someone
the quality or state of being accepted or acceptable
an agreeing either expressly or by conduct to the act or offer of another so that a contract is concluded and the parties become legally bound
the quality or state of being accepted or acceptable
the act of accepting : the fact of being accepted : approval

a : the act of accepting a time draft or bill of exchange for payment when due according to the specified terms
b : an accepted draft or bill of exchange


I won’t throw anyone under the bus by using names here, but recently I’ve had a few conversations with some of my friends and family members and in each and every conversation, I find the same line of thinking from all of them.  They have no acceptance and love for themselves.  They can’t/don’t or won’t see their value.  They have disregarded their importance to others and they are extremely self-deprecating.  It’s disheartening.  These are people that I love, that I value and I can see their importance – their importance to me and to their children, their parents, their spouses, their friends, their extended families!  Truthfully, I don’t like it that they speak so unkindly of themselves.  Is it simply the people that I associate with?  My guess is we all know people like this and most probably, more than one or two.

People have learned to be too accepting of things they shouldn’t necessarily be accepting of and at the same time, they have learned to be unaccepting of themselves, how is that possible?  Why is that possible?

Why have people accepted shoddy foreign built products or companies that manhandle & threaten their customers, but they can’t accept themselves?  Why are we tolerant of homelessness, hunger or mental health issues not being dealt with, but we aren’t tolerant of our own faults?  Why do we accept abuse from those we love, both mental & physical, why do we allow and forgive adultery, why do we allow those we love to suffer from alcoholism & drug abuse?  But we can’t find the tolerance, love and acceptance for ourselves?  Why do we accept the judicial system or the politicians, to do what they are supposed to, when over and over and over again they’ve proven not to do their jobs? Why do we accept that, but we won’t forgive ourselves when we make the same mistakes over and over again?  Why have individuals stopped thinking for and about themselves and caring for themselves so very little?  The rest of the world has told us, “You must be accepting of US, even things & people you may not agree with.  Everything we do outside of the “norm”, you must accept.”  The funny thing is, we do!  And we’re losing ourselves – sacrificing ourselves, what’s important to us, and our principles, in doing so.

For some strange reason, we no longer focus on loving ourselves – we focus on loving the differences in others, we no longer strive to accept what we as individuals want, but what society wants as a whole (which may not even be beneficial to us).  The outside forces us to find all the things we may not agree with and accept them, instead of finding things that we individually find important and focusing on the love and acceptance for…dare I say, “God’s children”.

I am in no way talking about self-absorption, vanity or being a selfish ass, I’m simply talking about realizing your own value, your own worth, evaluating who you are important to and loving yourself enough to take care of yourself and stand up for what you believe in.  I’m not saying if you’re a drug abuser yourself or if you’re in an adulterous relationship that you love and accept those traits about yourself, but what I am saying is, to make YOUR life complete, you must love, value and accept yourself.  Strive to be a better person if you’re not the person you want to be, find your value.  It’s so much more important that anyone makes it out to be.  Love yourself and the rest will come.  Treat yourself properly and others will to.  Don’t put up with the bullshit, the intolerance and the abuse.  Value yourself, love yourself.  Stop being so accepting to those that don’t accept you, stop accepting what you don’t want in your life, stop allowing your principles to be stolen from you.  This goes for family, friends, acquaintances, classmates, people you do business with, if you are not treated and loved properly, valued and accepted by the people in your life, start demanding those things from them and if you still don’t receive it, say goodbye.

Today, calibrate your own moral compass.  Determine why you don’t accept yourself for who you are, change those things you don’t accept.  Take an inventory of the people in your life, who accepts and loves you as you are, who helps you obtain your goals to be the person you want to be?  Who supports your principles?  Love those people, in turn, love yourself, don’t let them down.

Don’t accept less of yourself or those around you – demand more, don’t give less of yourself or allow those around you to give less –  demand more, give more, don’t strive for less from yourself or those around you – strive for more.  Don’t devalue and degrade yourself!  You are your most important asset, without you, there would be nothing.  Don’t lessen yourself to those who may think that you are “the bomb”, it’s offensive to them and it’s unacceptable.

Consider what you do, what you will and what you can accept, consider what you don’t, what you won’t or what you can’t accept and speak up for both.  Don’t succumb, be strong, find your value, demand acceptance from yourself.  I promise you, you are worth it.

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