Posted in Blog

F*** You Insurance


I’m sure that there are stories like mine all over the place, but since this is mine and it has finally – today – taken it’s toll, I want to tell you about it. I hate insurance and I hate anyone that thinks it’s a good idea. It’s not. Let me share:

My ex and I are divorced, he lives in one state and I in another. He pays, every couple weeks, money out of his paycheck for insurance for our 2 children. I have custody of said children and I have found them a doctor that they like and that I believed, up until recently, took the ex’s insurance.

I have been battling it out with them for the last couple months because insurance did not cover our children’s last physical exams and vaccinations and I couldn’t figure out why. For the last two months, he and I both have been on the phone with the doctor’s office, with the insurance company and reluctantly for me, with each other. Today I called his insurance company to find out what plan he has – just the name of it. After numerous attempts, I finally have my question answered by a woman that surely didn’t deserve my quick pulsed attitude, but hey…I have to take it out on someone. (Her fault for working for a shitty company anyway.) I finally find out the answer to my question and then low & behold – where I live – a populated area outside of Indianapolis, Indiana, there is NO network, at least for 70 miles!! Not even an urgent care. What??? Seriously?

So here’s the problem with that bit of information the way I see it…
#1. Insurance rendered no good because of where I live (I do not live in an unpopulated rural town in the middle of forgotten roads and forestry aka Bumf**k).
#2. If my children are sick, I have no recourse other than an emergency room visit because “there is no network where you live”.
#3. My ex husband (no matter what I feel about him personally) should not be paying for something that is of no use! Someone should have said, “hey, jackass, this doesn’t cover your kids that live out of state…so find something that does or stop paying it”. It’s robbery – plain and simple – and it’s wrong – it was wrong for him and it’s wrong for big business like insurance.

Let me get this out there too. Insurance should be permanent – like grandfathered and rules should be allowed to be changed constantly. If you pick a physician because they are good, you meld with them and you like their services, then no matter what, your insurance should cover them. Period. This whole, find a doctor in network that takes your plan, that jumps through hoops for us, that pays us billions of dollars and doesn’t know your name and you love them, then the next year, Ooops…not in network, doesn’t take your plan anymore, stopped paying us billions, now you gotta find a new one. Until that shit stops, this bizarre mess of acceptable nonsense will continue. Sad and ridiculous for supposed intelligence.

What happened to; find a doctor, one that you like, with a good bedside manner, one that fits you and develops a rapport with you and knows your history and knows you when they see you on the street, knows your children, knows your spouse, greets you with a hug and will be at your bedside if you need them should something tragic happen? Now, you’re damn lucky if they know anything about you or even if they look you in the eye since they all now stare at computer screens. “Hey you – number 13247435900 – Fill out this ass load of paperwork, wait ridiculously long periods of time, doctor rushes in to run through this gamut of questions, you rush to pay your co-payment, you leave – then the real bill comes of what your bastardization of a medical plan doesn’t cover! No personalization what – so – ever – and sometimes nowadays, they don’t even get the name on your bill correct! Oh America – you’re a hoot!

P.S. I’ve unallowed comments on this post…cuz right now, I don’t give a shit what the pluses are.

Posted in Home, Self

My Good Intentions 

Spring cleaning has always been a big deal for me.  I enjoy touching all the thing I’ve purchased with the intent to do fabulous things with, but just don’t ever seem to find the time (lie).

Yesterday while cleaning out my laundry room – slash – office, I found copious amounts of CD/DVD making materials.  I listed all of my findings on a Facebook flea market page for almost nothing.  Like $10 for an unused, $150-$180 dollar item that never saw the light of day outside the cabinet it’s been stored in…oh, no, that’s a lie.  It moved 598 miles with me, over a quarter of the way across the United States to be put in a cabinet, to wait.  For what?  Oh that’s right, me to use it!

Don’t they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  I have found that for myself, the road to creativity is paved with the same.  I have artistic, excited, real good intentions each and every time I purchase something.  “Ooo, those mushrooms look good!  They’ll make beautiful mushroom soup!”  A week later, there I am, refrigerator doors open, hands on both handles looking like I’m ready to take on the world, eyes focusing on that pretty blue container that used to contain beautiful fresh mushrooms, now looking like something the dog found in the yard to roll in.

Ooo, I love these cool plastic Tupperware containers, they’ll make my food prep so easy!  Purchased 5 said containers, now must find one more so I have even amount.  Must be purple since I have two white, two green and one purple, they have to have a mate, right?! (What?  I do not display any OCD qualities, thank you very much!)  Search is on.  For three days, MBH searches high and low, finally finds said container.  Ahhhh, matching sets, yay!!  Reads on Internet – fruit should not be prepped until you’re ready to eat it.  Tupperware set of 6, now rendered useless.  That’s right!  In a matter of seconds, all that intention…gone.

It’s pretty embarrassing actually, how many times I’ve said, “oh yeah, if you buy that cookbook for me, I’ll cook you some meals out of it!  When I say it, I mean it, but I look at the pictures and boom, it’s like I lose all interest or I just quickly find that next thing to focus on.  I wonder what that is?  Books, crafting materials, picture frames, cookbooks, time just slides on by and here I am wondering what would happen if I really used all the things I’ve purchased, and used them for their actual intended purpose too, not just like, ya know, the treadmill as a thing to hang clothes prior to wearing them.  This year my youngest daughter will be 13.  I keep telling myself I need to fill in her baby book, I mean I bought it before she was born.  When I bought it I had good intentions…

Posted in Education, Family

Living in a Disposable World

It’s kinda like a material world…or is it?

I’m still sick, more sick than I’ve been in years.  I guess that’s good, but man oh man I feel like crap; eyes running & itching, nose stopped up & running, sneezing, coughing, headache, can’t sleep, nothing tastes good, chest is heavy, yeah…good times.  Because of this fact, I decided yesterday that I was going to make what my mother has always called – Jewish Penicillin, simply put – good ole chicken soup.

Making the soup, I started thinking about a good friend of mine that I haven’t spoken to in over two years, who just happens to be – you guessed it – Jewish.  I called her.

I love her.  I have known her for about 20 years and although there’s 26 years separating us in age, I’ve never met a more kindred spirit to my own on so many different levels.

We spoke on the phone (between fits of coughing – me and dog’s uncontrollably barking – hers) for four hours, we easily could have talked another four.  We relate to one another and understand one another completely.  I feel like a younger version of her, while she is the older version of me.

Being in her 70’s and a widow, her children want her to sell the home she’s lived in for 40+ years and downsize.  Understandably so, as the home is large for one person with numerous stairs.   She has had hip replacement surgery and is in pain much of the time so she definitely needs something more manageable.  Her dilemma is one that many of us have when facing a big change; getting rid of, de-cluttering, throwing out, downsizing, there’s a thousand terms coined for the process, but really it’s simply getting rid of stuff you don’t use, don’t want or won’t have a place for.



Years ago, she and her husband owned a dollhouse shop (which is actually how she and I met and became friends) and she still has quite a few dollhouses that were built by her husband and/or given to them by once popular, but now defunct, dollhouse manufacturers.  Being that her husband is gone and her children are long grown up, she wants to keep these dollhouses, these beautiful moments from another time.  A time that can never be relived or duplicated, but really – will she have the space for these mementos and if not, what then?  Store them?  For what?  For whom?  Sell them?  To whom?  Donate them?  No one will appreciate the work and love invested as she has, not even her children.  Sentimentality is a lost art, memories unless digitized aren’t acceptable any more.

The realization that she won’t have the space nor the ability to take everything she has accumulated in 40+ years has left her in a quandary.  What will she do with these items that she loves and that bring up such wonderful, irreplaceable memories?  She will have to dispose of them in one way or another.

One unsettling issue with moving is deciding what stays and what goes.  She has beautiful, top quality, well crafted, wood furniture that no one, and I do mean no one, wants.  I am left wondering why?  The crap they try to pass off as “quality” furniture is absolute nonsense and the price they charge leaves me scratching my head wondering who would pay that?  Thin wood veneer, cheesy knobs and hardware, lasts two to three years if you don’t use it for much, why do we purchase this under the guise of “quality” and say it’s ok?  Why have people decided that poor quality & short life span is the way to go for furniture?  Eh, throw it away, we’ll just grab some more later when we go grocery shopping?  We’ll just go pay big money for sub par crap.

I beg to go to auctions and flea markets and when I find a well constructed dove tailed drawer in rich pecan wood I swoon and wonder where I can fit this newly found, old world masterpiece in my home.  Others – younger (?) people wouldn’t even give it a second thought?  Of course furniture isn’t the only thing that’s disposable in this country, but it speaks volumes of how we’ve begun to settle, how mediocre is good enough.  We’re ok with buying crap to use in our homes and to throw it away and replace it every couple years when in reality, these items should outlast us as well as our children’s children. We as a country need to re-assess what we’re “o.k.” with.  Good quality construction & long life shouldn’t be of such little value.